Two Weeks Ago: By the Dingleberry

Prologue: 

Why hello.

Yes, it has been a while. Yes, you look as lovely as the sun glistening off the morning dew. Yes, I know I look even better and I thank you for acknowledging that in this large group of friends and people currently judging us. It's been a crazy couple of weeks and in all honesty an insanely busy semester. Guest blogger Laura "Dingleberry" submitted her entry to the Chronicles of Kick James in due time, but alas, I could not put it together quickly enough.

So here it is folks, granted, we won another game last night, the division title in fact, but that's a story for a later time. Until then. I offer you this: The story of two weeks ago. A new MVP, rising from the ashes of Pearson... A bunter, born from blunder... chicks man... chicks.

As a guest to this blog, I would like to thank everyone for the opportunity to develop myself and further my career as a guest blogger. I would also like to thank my family for their love and support while always pushing me (literally, not figuratively). I would like to thank my friends who always lend me an ear and constantly encourage me to pursue my dreams. I would also like to thank...

Now on to bigger and better topics: Kickball. I am Kick James and we kick some serious bottom. I give everyone a big pat on the back. Well, no not really... So everyone raise their own hands and pat yourself on the back. And while we are at it go ahead and wrap your arms around yourself and give you a hug. No stop, because you look silly (but it feels better now doesn't it).

Honorable mentions go out to the two MVPs of the week: Ben and Tim (*insert cheers for Tom here).

Pictured: I don't know, but I like it... TC

Ben: Two triples. 4 RKIs. Amazing plays- including hitting a girl in the face. Hats off (in other words  this is where you tip your red hat that you have on right now, because I KNOW you are wearing one right now because you are that excited about kickball. All. The. Time.).

         

Tim: Two pop ball outs in the first inning. We all give you 'Kick James' karma points for catching our foul ball on the sideline while the other team's girl on first called it during the bottom of the forth, saving us from an out (first one to everything, figures). We also give you 'Cooper' karma for catching the ball over her head as the ball would have most definitely smooshed the little one in the outfield.

Editors Note: The MVP was largely due to the fuckling... more on that later, I'm sure.

Now, in honor of some of the events that happened last Thursday (in no specific order):

Editor's Note: Scumbag Steve is one of my favorite Meme's

Scumbag Brian: He may not have had his red cap turned sideways, or his underwear showing above his shorts, but Scumbag Butterfingers Boy Erin "Brian" Brian exhibited a number of qualities last week that are in no way condoned by the Kick James community- so, shame on you Brian, try better next week. 

(*feel free to insert a boo here).

           

Editor's Note: This guy is a perfect combination
of Ben, Loic, and my high school Dean Mr. DeBarbieri

'Good Guy' Loic: As the antithesis of Scumbag Brian, Good Guy Loic emulated himself as a kind, generous and empathetic teammate on and off the field. This was exhibited a number of times, but it would be too time consuming for you, the kind reader, to be bothered with all his good deeds. So mentioning a few: Good Guy Loic would throw the ball back to the other team's pitcher as opposed to watching it simply roll by the plate on it's way back to the catcher. He would run the ball in from the outfield as opposed to causing the agony of another teammate to have to play in the infield. He also successfully got the ref to say “boobie” which we were all secretly anxiously waiting for. (p.s. Nice tag Loic, I thus challenge everyone in the future to get the ref to say “boobie” at least once during every game).

 

Christina and Renee: A big Kick James congratulations goes out to the both of you.

• a). Chris for making your first run and score! W00T.
• b). Renee for getting on base for the first time in Kick James! W00T W00T.

*below is how I secretly feel however:

Editor's Note: Laura might spend too much time on Reddit.

Guy on other team: 'Girl Brian' gets karma points for successfully psyching/striking out guy on other team, who couldn't quite comprehend that fact that you have to actually kick behind the plate. Perhaps he was stunned by your beauty, or perhaps he has a visual deficiency and can't see home plate, or perhaps he was playing opposite day and when we said that he has to kick behind the plate he actually HAD to kick in front of the plate because otherwise he would have ceased to exist. Whatever the reason, 'Girl Brian' wins. #WINNING.

Tom, Captain, Oh my captain: 'fuckling' is a weird word (*insert fingers air-ball-tickling here).