Monday, May 23, 2011
What's that sound? It's the raw ecstasy of the wind blowing in a double header. Granted, it is also blowing in some thunder storms that might cancel that double header, but as of now we are still scheduled kids.
These games weren't scheduled as of last Friday, so they must have taken a long look at our character and personal development and decided we were ripe for the playoffs... or they extended the season so they didn't have to give people so much money back. I'm gonna guess it's the first one though.
They at least like us enough to keep us on Field 18 for both games, here is the link (it's right next to Field 10 where we played our last double headers) http://www.
I am guessing we might lose some people due to short notice, so please let me know who is in so we know if we need to recruit. The last time we had to do that we added Sandy, but also lost Dave and Gabe to the DL.
I will keep you updated if I hear anything, but in the meantime start planning accordingly. By that I mean stretching in your office, lunch drinks, personal pep talks in the lobby, and vocal lessons.
If all else fails we still have Marshall Street and each other.
As they say in Europe: Have a great day everybody!
(they're very polite in Europe).
Thomas
Blood, Sweat, and team stretches and shotguns
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Once upon a time there was a young man growing up in the hills of Switzerland. His siblings were almost a generation older than him, as he was a completely unwanted accident. He knew this because his father told him... often. The young man, bored because his family didn't like him and because the Swiss hills are super boring, retreated into his imagination. He dreamt of a world where kids just like him could play freely. Where everyone got along and where drinking and chanting were encouraged. His lonely dreams got him through his formidable years and a week before his high school graduation his ailing father called him to his dying bed. "Son," his father said in the forced hushed tone of death. "Son, you've always known you were a mistake. You know because I have told you every day of your life and because neither your mother nor I have ever told you we love you." Tears started flowing out of his fathers eyes and the young man followed suit, touched by the inevitable display of remorse and affection that was streaming out of his fathers wet eyes and snotty nostrils. "Son, you live your life in a fantasy world. You have ignored our attempts to integrate you into society and get you out of our house. You talk to your imaginary friends and it creeps everyone out. You were an accident and now you're a creepy teenager. Please do us all a favor and leave your mothers home after I'm gone. Don't burden her with your creepiness and demanding bowls of cereal for your imaginary giraffe Stefan. Move to America and try not to disappoint the Kiikbol name more than you already have..." and with his dying breath, the old man slapped his son in the face.
The anger and sadness welled in the young man. A fire had been sparked and he was going to show that son of a b father who was the worthless accident. "Grab your suitcase Stefan, we're going to America." And with that, Geraldo Kiikbol left Switzerland for the states. He settled in Rochester, NY where he became a Phys Ed teacher. Unable to throw or catch a baseball or softball himself, Geraldo was forced to design a more functional ball for his skill set, or lack there of. It had to be bouncy, as his soft untouched hands could not handle the pressure of a solid ball. It had to be rubbery, because things that bounced made him giggle. And it had to be red because that was the only color his albino Swiss eyes could differentiate from other colors...
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, as Geraldo Kiikbol introduced these bouncy, rubbery, red balls to students of his 9th grade gym class the game of dodgeball was invented. The children pelted Geraldo with the balls so badly that his body failed him and he passed away. Jonathan Kickball, a young man in class that day whom had been picked on for having a name that sounded so similar to the unloved teacher, saved one of those balls that day. The rest were taken in as evidence in the murder case. No charges were officially pressed as when the police called Geraldo's aging mother in Switzerland she said he had it coming.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, with the invention of dodgeball, the murder of an unloved albino swiss gym teacher, and the theft of a bouncy rubber ball by a creative loner looking for a team sport he and other friends could play on Monday nights... that was how Jonathan Kickball invented the game he eventually named after himself. Jonathanball was a great game, but the name didn't fit so it was eventually changed to just kickball.
Kick James (3-2) 15, The Legends (3-2) 0
For the Season:
K.J. Runs For - 40, Runs Against - 17
Legends R.F. - 15, Runs Against - 21
Shut out MoFo's!
We were on fire. MVP honors go to the Globogym Sex Cobras who played in the field next to us for not being our opponents, not owning any sleeves, and being so good at kickball that they won their game and win MVP in our game as well. D Bags.
Billiam Ford was there, so that was awesome. His mere presence elevated the amount of inner team cheering. But also inner team jeering of me, on our walk to the field... so Fordy isn't invited again.
Our ladies continue to bludgeon the other team with hits and runs like a 9th grade gym class with a Swiss guy. Shelley scored her first run on two hits, Jenna is kicking .800 (that's really good for those of you who aren't into sports science, it's more of a passion than a hobby), Heidi's quick hands from the pitching mound earned her a couple outs at first and her first strike out, and Ashley (thank you Sandy for subjecting your girlfriend to the best hour of kickball of her life!) and Renee were automatic with base kicks!
The Loffner duo of Brian and Gym (nix that) Gim left it all on the field, including the skin off their bones and their sportsmanship as Jim closed out two innings single handedly, and Brian dove and caught everything out of Jim's hands without calling for the ball (except for once, good job buddy). Brian was also the queen of the princess ball when he DESTROYED some guy who had no business shotgunning at a shotgun challenge, leaving the other team breathless and without a queen of the princess ball (because it was Brian and that's what they were shotgunning for... the honor to become the queen of the princess ball).
With the first ever Kick James home run (I think, I guess I can't remember), Sandy nailed the ball into left center and ran Steve Prefontaine, only faster because Steve Prefontaine was a distance runner, I think, so therefore wouldn't really be all that fast, throwing caution to the wind and doing a triple backflip onto home plate. Nobody talked about the amazing acrobatic feet, so I assume the rest of the team missed it, but Sandy and I know what really happened.
Honorable mention goes to the super skinny right fielder from the other team who nailed Timmy square in the back from 30 yards away while Timmy was trying to snag an extra base. Seriously, that was an awesome throw.
I'm not sure how we could have done it without Gabe on the bench, Phil for the 15 minutes he was there, or Jesse who may have had 12 of the RKI's (Runs kicked in), I don't know how many he actually had, I stopped paying attention.
The numbers were scant, but the fun was innumerable. Our joy led to a team shotgun (Heidi's first!) and a great trip to Marshall Street.
If you weren't there you were missed. Not by me, but I'm sure by someone... probably your mothers or fathers. Seriously, don't be a jerk, call your parents once in a while.
I know we have officially ended the season in the top four of our division, but I don't think we made the playoffs. If someone wants to read over the message on therockickball.net website and try to decipher what they're saying, that would be great.
I have not heard back from the league on when we're going to get our money, so hold off on plans for this Thursday. If it's not this Thursday we'll do it on the soonest Thursday we can possibly Thursday out of Thursdayville.
It's been an amazing season Kick James. Since the Rapture didn't all take us away, I look forward to doing this again in the fall. I was hoping we could get purple shirts next time with the sleeves cut off, but I think The Globogym Sex Cobra's would find us and I never ever want to be in the same room as any of them. Plus I'm scared of their muscles. I could tell they were muscular because none of them had sleeves.
Whenever we get together for the end of the year get together I will get together some sort of collage or montage of pictures/videos of our get togethers and I'll try to get all the emails together so we will never forget how we have all gotten together and celebrated a man. A man who has had such a Deep Impact (starring Morgan Freeman as the President of the United States) on so many people... this historic figure who gives hope to youth and eases the pain and worries of the elderly. This legend in his own time who not only helped dig the Erie Canal (while on vacation as a child), but also helped reverse man's effect on the Erie Canal by kicking the dirt back in the hole he dug at the beach of the Erie Canal. This man we all know and love as William Ford. Thank you Bill, thank you for bringing us all together.
I'm Kick James... and I suspect you are as well.
Much love.
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