Foreword by Dingleberry
First Draft: No research was harmed in the writing of this blog.
I'm Kick James is a well oiled and fine tuned machine.
As with any piece of equipment, the first version off the assembly line is far from the impeccable glistening specimen we all know and love today.
It hasn't been all polish and glitter, some real elbow grease has gone into developing Kick into a James I'm interested in being a part of.
Without further ado, let's start from the beginning.
Part I: Foundations
Bringing the individuals together to form a team is not a willy nilly endeavor.
The foundation of a team is not built on the individuals involved, on the contrary the individuals involved in a team must fit onto and support the foundation.
When choosing the foundations for a Kickball organization, you must ask a few questions:
1 - What kind of competitors do you want to be? Do you want to play to win, have fun, just hang out with friends, train for regionals, sing at nationals, qualifiers for the Hunger Games?
2 - How much drinking should we encourage?
3 - Should there be a blog?
4 - Are we a team of friends first or a team first who may or may not be friends?
My recommendations for the above foundations are as follows: Winning is fun, but being an asshole isn't, play for fun, winning is a bonus. Drink as much as you can without getting arrested. Yes, of course. and last but not least, we are friends first who happen to be on a kickball team.
The entire team should have an active respect and understanding of this foundation. If they do not, they will be the wobbly brick that falls out and kills someones great aunt who was on the way to update her will that includes all of us and now we don't each get a house in the bahamas... thanks wobbly brick bastard!
Part II: Assessment
Now that the team has come together, it's time to assess strengths and weaknesses. Since we have already established that picking and choosing teammates based on ability is unnecessary (kicks before dicks, pals before punts, friends before triple plays... working on it) strengths and weaknesses are a combination of personality traits and how comfortable an individual is with their talent level, rather than their level of talent itself.
When I speak of personality traits, I am mostly talking about level of competitiveness. As an established group of friends, it should go without saying that everyone has a working understanding of how to navigate through the variety of personalities present. The foundation established in Part I is not easy for everyone to get behind, which is extremely important to understand. A great many of us have something brewing beneath their law degree or comb over hair or what have you, that tells them winning is a necessity and anything goes in order to get there. This is not an issue of overcoming or changing these traits, but working with the traits in order to find a happy medium where they feel heard, properly respected, and are still a part of a team where winning is a value if not a requirement.
This is accomplished with some patience, conversation, and encouragement.
A leopard can not change his spots. It will eat your fucking face. But if you put them in a position where they can productively compete, even on a personal, if not a full team level (first base, shortstop) they are getting some of the adrenaline they need.
When aggression takes over, it is not to be scolded or made to feel ostracized. Why is the aggression taking over? What happened? Who needs a hug? This is a prime example of talking through a situation reminding both the individual and the team at large who we are, why we're here and where our focus should be.
Unfortunately, in the great game of kickball these antagonizing factors are most often the opponents themselves, but also primarily taken out on teammates. We all do it. We're human. Accept it, apologize, hug the shit out of Sweeney, he doesn't like being yelled at. It makes him sad.
Opponents should have fun because you are having fun.
Games should end, win or lose, with both teams feeling primarily pleased and satisfied for the adult interaction of the last hour of their lives.
If opponents refuse to have fun because they are douche nozzels, the only thing to do is light mockery (focus on the light) and increase the fun level your team is currently having. This can typically be accomplished with increased drinking, hugging, or singing.
Lesson learned: Vast changes to the fielding line up freak people out. It is fun for those making the changes, but stresses other people out. Namely the team captain and other individuals who might be forced into a new fielding position where they are not comfortable: A Kickball Team should be focused on team happiness and satisfaction, there is no individual in team or else it would be spelled tindividualeam and that looks ridiculous.
Part III: Camaraderie
This brings us perfectly to the third part of our foundations.
Team: This is where I was the last time blogger saved what I had written before my computer froze. I had written for another half hour and there was a whole lot more gold. NowI'm frustrated and I don't feel like doing it all over again, so this is what you get. I'll finish the rest later. It was good too. Really really good.
I'm Kick James and I won't be around all that much this season, but I will be there in spirit. Since I assume you all look at me as your leader, mentor and inspiration, a Jesus or Buddah figure if you will, try to think of me often. When you are frustrated, ask yourself, what would Thomas do? When you are in need of direction, think of me and my warm eyes and loving life perspective. When you succeed, say a silent thank you and know that it was probably because of something I did or taught you. If something doesn't go well or ends poorly, now it is because you did something I wouldn't have done. Don't forget to stretch. Don't forget to hug. In all situations, Love Each Other.
No... we're Kick James.
First Draft: No research was harmed in the writing of this blog.
I'm Kick James is a well oiled and fine tuned machine.
As with any piece of equipment, the first version off the assembly line is far from the impeccable glistening specimen we all know and love today.
It hasn't been all polish and glitter, some real elbow grease has gone into developing Kick into a James I'm interested in being a part of.
Without further ado, let's start from the beginning.
Team Development
Part I: Foundations
Bringing the individuals together to form a team is not a willy nilly endeavor.
The foundation of a team is not built on the individuals involved, on the contrary the individuals involved in a team must fit onto and support the foundation.
When choosing the foundations for a Kickball organization, you must ask a few questions:
1 - What kind of competitors do you want to be? Do you want to play to win, have fun, just hang out with friends, train for regionals, sing at nationals, qualifiers for the Hunger Games?
2 - How much drinking should we encourage?
3 - Should there be a blog?
4 - Are we a team of friends first or a team first who may or may not be friends?
My recommendations for the above foundations are as follows: Winning is fun, but being an asshole isn't, play for fun, winning is a bonus. Drink as much as you can without getting arrested. Yes, of course. and last but not least, we are friends first who happen to be on a kickball team.
The entire team should have an active respect and understanding of this foundation. If they do not, they will be the wobbly brick that falls out and kills someones great aunt who was on the way to update her will that includes all of us and now we don't each get a house in the bahamas... thanks wobbly brick bastard!
Part II: Assessment
Now that the team has come together, it's time to assess strengths and weaknesses. Since we have already established that picking and choosing teammates based on ability is unnecessary (kicks before dicks, pals before punts, friends before triple plays... working on it) strengths and weaknesses are a combination of personality traits and how comfortable an individual is with their talent level, rather than their level of talent itself.
When I speak of personality traits, I am mostly talking about level of competitiveness. As an established group of friends, it should go without saying that everyone has a working understanding of how to navigate through the variety of personalities present. The foundation established in Part I is not easy for everyone to get behind, which is extremely important to understand. A great many of us have something brewing beneath their law degree or comb over hair or what have you, that tells them winning is a necessity and anything goes in order to get there. This is not an issue of overcoming or changing these traits, but working with the traits in order to find a happy medium where they feel heard, properly respected, and are still a part of a team where winning is a value if not a requirement.
This is accomplished with some patience, conversation, and encouragement.
A leopard can not change his spots. It will eat your fucking face. But if you put them in a position where they can productively compete, even on a personal, if not a full team level (first base, shortstop) they are getting some of the adrenaline they need.
When aggression takes over, it is not to be scolded or made to feel ostracized. Why is the aggression taking over? What happened? Who needs a hug? This is a prime example of talking through a situation reminding both the individual and the team at large who we are, why we're here and where our focus should be.
Unfortunately, in the great game of kickball these antagonizing factors are most often the opponents themselves, but also primarily taken out on teammates. We all do it. We're human. Accept it, apologize, hug the shit out of Sweeney, he doesn't like being yelled at. It makes him sad.
Opponents should have fun because you are having fun.
Games should end, win or lose, with both teams feeling primarily pleased and satisfied for the adult interaction of the last hour of their lives.
If opponents refuse to have fun because they are douche nozzels, the only thing to do is light mockery (focus on the light) and increase the fun level your team is currently having. This can typically be accomplished with increased drinking, hugging, or singing.
Lesson learned: Vast changes to the fielding line up freak people out. It is fun for those making the changes, but stresses other people out. Namely the team captain and other individuals who might be forced into a new fielding position where they are not comfortable: A Kickball Team should be focused on team happiness and satisfaction, there is no individual in team or else it would be spelled tindividualeam and that looks ridiculous.
Part III: Camaraderie
This brings us perfectly to the third part of our foundations.
Team: This is where I was the last time blogger saved what I had written before my computer froze. I had written for another half hour and there was a whole lot more gold. NowI'm frustrated and I don't feel like doing it all over again, so this is what you get. I'll finish the rest later. It was good too. Really really good.
I'm Kick James and I won't be around all that much this season, but I will be there in spirit. Since I assume you all look at me as your leader, mentor and inspiration, a Jesus or Buddah figure if you will, try to think of me often. When you are frustrated, ask yourself, what would Thomas do? When you are in need of direction, think of me and my warm eyes and loving life perspective. When you succeed, say a silent thank you and know that it was probably because of something I did or taught you. If something doesn't go well or ends poorly, now it is because you did something I wouldn't have done. Don't forget to stretch. Don't forget to hug. In all situations, Love Each Other.
No... we're Kick James.
Thank you for this, Thomas. I just finished GoT season 3 Ep 9 and was feeling a little sick to my stomach. I laughed through at least 70% of the blog, and now I feel mostly better. I also appreciate your attempt at setting a foundation of principals and a process through which the team can achieve social greatness in your absence. Just for you, I will make sure to promote plenty of team shotguns and lots of hugging.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Thomus. That's a combination of Thomas and Jesus because you two have so much in common. Namely your love of wood working (if you know what I mean) and your great abs.
ReplyDeleteI propose that we all wear a patch on our sleeves this season in memory of Thomus' omnipotent kick james presence. Kind of like the Patriots did after their owner's wife passed away. Except a lot less sad.
Blogging gold as always Thomus. To catch you up - we did a lot of winning, drinking and being awesome this week. However without your guidance our hugging average was below our league average from last season. Lets remember the key to winning is hugs. Great job this week everyone! For the record, MVPs were Phil and Renee, because they are awesome : )
ReplyDelete