Thanks to Jim "formally known as Amber Alert"'s ridiculously lucky and skillfull, game ending and MVP earning double play I'm Kick James continues their undefeated streak through the fall folliage!
(seriously, I think we should go team streaking)
Jim's enthusiasm and Tae Bo ripped body propelled us to a victory that will go down in blogging history... only because blogs don't really go away and it is currently being written about.
I'm Kick James 4, Sexual Meatloaf 3, Dignity -7
There were so many highlights from last night I don't even know where to begin. I'm gitty. A grown man sitting in his office that used to be a dorm room with a perma-smile on his face just thinking of all the fun things that happened last night.
First and foremost was Sexual Meatloaf themselves. What started as two dudes hanging out looking homely and lonely turned into a solid group of fifteen people strutting to field seven as a sexual soirée of superheroes. Batman was there (he's gained weight), as were princess cupcake, captain meatloaf and countless other nameless caped kickballers.
They were obviously there for good times and until they challenged my safe slide into third base (excellent base running captain... thanks team, it means a lot) and their stoic shotgunner inhaled his beer narrowly edging out our very own Dominican Dainty Dipper (Gabe) with the Das Boot shotgunning technique, I really liked them.
You might notice that the "I really liked them" doesn't quite seem to fit by the time you get to it, but please take a moment to go back and read the previous section again. No it is not a paragraph. Yes it is a run on sentence. Yes I am still angry that I was called out. Yes that is when I started hating the nicest most fun team we've ever played. Yes they were dicks toward the end.
Honorable mentions for the night:
Katie, our newest recruit, brought to us from the hardened streets of Webster (I think) and hallowed halls of Paychex. Without knowing anyone or much argument she stepped up, earned a base hit, sort of narrowly/sort of completely lost the second shotgun challenge and 30 second later (after only showing up fifteen minutes before) quietly uttered: "I'm so drunk!" Welcome to Kick James Katie... much more to come.
Shelley started the game with a vicious inning on the mound personally recording two outs and spreading fear to the heart of meatloaf. Almost as if to say, "I could be the MVP again if I want to, but I'm not going to because I'm a team player."
Jesse's gigantic left foot ripped a huge kick into right field. He ran, arms flailing and with a high pitched squeal as fast as he could to secure our lead with the first Kick James Home Run of the season!!!
We asked him to do it again the next time he was up, but he failed miserably and I think he only got a base hit... like a jerk.
Timmy unfortunately couldn't leave his place of employment, but no fear, Sandy took over for him and jumped in front of as many girls as he could to steal the ball away from them. Thanks Sandy, you know how much we all miss Timmy when he's gone.
Jims catch and double play might have been out-shined by his little brother who (after being told to back up) called a bomb hit directly toward him in center field. Hands up, eyes on the prize, feet shuffling young Dave realized the ball was over his head (told you to back up... just sayin). There was no back peddling this one out, Dave turned on a dime, complete 180 and started his sprint. As the ball descended we were sure it was at least a base hit and potentially a couple of runs, but at the last second our young hero outstretched this fragile computer geek hands and caught the ball from over his shoulder. It was an amazing feat. You could tell it was amazing because Dave stood there holding the ball, stunned and self gratified, while the base runner tagged up and scored a run... thus losing Dave his potential MVP status, gaining all of us this story, and putting another notch of awesome on the bedpost that is Dave's life.
By Sweeney's own admission, he did not do much during the game so he made up for it at Marshall Street. That's true dedication... or a drinking "issue".
Ben Colins tried to come play, but he ended up playing for a different team on a different field and making his way over to us as we were leaving. Good effort Mr. Collins.
It was a great day in the life of Kick James. So great in fact that a soldier in Iraq sent us a singing telegram in the form of a drunken Zorro playing the Violin and singing "Pour some sugar for me." (not even the right lyrics Zorro). At first we thought this caped crooner was just another Meatloafian, but no, he was actually sent to one of their players. Her inappropriate comment and reaction to her soulja boyfriend was "I'm going to kill him. If the terrorists don't kill him in Iraq, I'm going to kill him." Seriously, she said that.
Marshall street was pretty awesome. Don wore our Jersey proving his love for Kick James. Kelly, his wife, on the other hand, wore the other Thursday teams Jersey proving her loathing and complete hatred of all of us. Sandy and Ashley ordered enough food to satiate Andre the Giant (assuming he still eats a ton even though he's dead). People cheered for sports. Pitchers were poured, laughter was loofed, Brian was not missed.
I know I missed stuff... plenty of stuff... so much stuff. Please share the rest of the stories.
I'm Kick James, very nice to meet you.
Oh yeah, Amelia got hurt running... could this be the girls season of injury? Stay tuned... dun dun dun!!! (Ominous music)
Oh yeah, I also have a laser rocket arm and throw bitches out on first like it's my job.
(I guess it is my job though, seeing as I was playing third base and by position description my job is to stop the ball and throw it to first base if that is where the play is at. So in retrospect I did nothing but my job.)
UPDATE
We are officially in first place in our division. People look up to us.
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