Two Sides of the Same Coin

For all intensive purposes, Monday's events were one big rollercoaster of a game.

This is what a kickball team looks like after a rollercoaster.

Yes, maybe if you're one for technicalities, "Wilmer Valderama", you would refer to Monday's I'm Kick Jamesing as a "double header" but if you're not one for technicalities, "Mr. Obama", then you would just bunch everything up together and represent it as the mess it was.

In general, I'm Kick James had a fantastic night. Quick Highlights - Coming from behind to almost win. Winning really intensely. Gender confusion. Waxing. Waning. A Fine Frenzy. Smitty. Non-Alchoballiks compared to Guy, the loose cannon of mass consumption.

By the end of the night:

I'm Kick James  (6-1-1) 21, Alchoballiks of Mass Consumption (doesn't matter) 11

Now let's share in some stories... with the help of photographic technologies.  

WARNING:  There might not be a "defined order" to these stories, but there are pictures so that makes it a lot of fun.

Paper, Laura, Scissors: Dingleberry for the win!

A slow start led to some interesting moments as we started the evening. The other team, fighting to their last breath for a spot in the playoffs (that we still don't know if they actually got, one because we're clinched in first and don't give a shit and two, because it's very confusing) came to play. They wanted the full on win, settled for a tie, but not before barely drinking anything and whining about getting hit in the head with the ball while sliding into second (one of two calls the ref gave us all night long). The very ref who had no idea what a strike was and refused to call them.

An example of the other team barely drinking anything, the picture above shows I'm Kick James taking a knee (except Shelley who apparently doesn't know what a knee is) and drinking for Laura who is rock, paper, scissoring the other team.... haha scissoring the other team.

That win kept Laura on second and most likely led to something amazing. That amazing something could have been one of the thirty times PJ was on base, Tim's 2 RKI triple that would have been a home run if one of their players hadn't been overweight and unable to control his body tripped him on purpose. Maybe that's when Smitty ran so fast he almost lapped Laura.

I don't know, I wasn't paying attention.

Things started to heat up around here. Down by a few runs we came back and tied it up. We then took the lead and made fun of the other team for being douchy a little bit. That led to another inning nobody remembers that will never be mentioned again. Remember, we only played on game and it ultimately ended in a win.

Pictured: Terror giggles

I'm Kick James had a universal tension headache. Overcome with emotion and filled with intense feelings of devotion to each other, there was a lot of yelling for a little bit.  Short fuses were lit. Forgiveness hugs were plentiful. Katie, who may or may not have been drunk, kicked the ball extremely well, but hugged herself in fear on first base because the game was so tense.

It was all very confusing for Shelley.

Things weren't as smooth for Kick James as they usually are. The ball was kicked so hard into the outfield it knocked Jesse on his ass while he was catching it.



Brian dove for a ball 42 feet away from him. Katie brought bread to soak up some of the booze. Jesse and Shelley ate it so it was not effective.



I'm Kick James and in the face of adversity I turn things around by starting over, making my opponent change their shirts and complete personalities, and starting a fielding frenzy... and hugging, there was some hugging. The other team also had shots available, which didn't hurt anyone, except PJ because Tim stole his shot just like he's stolen so many balls from ladies in the outfield.

Pictured: Pitching is hard

Things like the action pictures to the left were common. Sweeney was constantly walking away from people.

Brady, the ref who totally looked like a dude named Brady, started getting a little scared. Besides the fact that he seemed to enjoy giving pointers to the other team and yelling at our team, Brady didn't do well with "fun." Playful banter, Tim pretend fighting an old drunk guy named Guy, women's liberation, the Magna Carta, and shot guns and lady chugs put him as far on edge as he could have gone.


The second half of the game was lively to say the least. The final reports aren't in, but Tim won a shotgun challenge for one of two reasons.

1 - The other dude never opened his can and pretended to do the entire thing.

2 - The other dude actually did a really good job and would have beat Tim if he had just handed the empty beer to the ref.

The world may never care, and good, because it's over and we won.

 The next challenge pitted young Miss Piles against a female rugby player in a chug to the death. Not really, it was just a chug to the end of the cup, which Shelley did not win, but gets crazy points in my book for stepping up to the plate.


Men pitched.

Ladies peed standing up

Awesome pictures like this were taken.

In the end, five worthy, yet unlucky MVP's were Schmirnoffed
 
 
Shelley - For her chugging attempt, awesome pitching and contemplative nature.

Sandy - He did something really well at the end of both games. It might have been fielding. I'm pretty sure he had a home run too.

Laura - For everything we mentioned (mostly the rock paper scissoring) and the ability to spend numerous innings, catching, smoking a cig, drinking a beer and taking pictures all at the same time.

Smitty - For being the most consistent player of the day and for also doing something really good, that I can't remember.

Thomas - I played well.






And with that, Sandy pointed to the parking lot for Sweeney and said, "Sweeney, that's where my car is parked."


I'm Kick James and I will see you in the playoffs you beautiful sons of bitches.

This also happened at some point, which is awesome.