Which came first...

So last nights game led me to ask a few questions...


Were those guys dicks? Were we taking it too seriously? If I were them, would I hate us? How can Timmy throw the ball so hard? Why am I scared of clowns?


Answers: Yes. No. Who cares, they were dicks. He is a freak. They are terrifying.


Another notch on the old win belt folks.


I'm Kick James (3-1) 4, My Foot, Your Balls (1-3) 1


MVP's and Highlights

Playing what he said was his last game of the season with Kick James due to a stupid golf league for idiots, Hoffy had a great game at first base and, as always, helped spread cheer by making people chug gross things. Too bad for him, being selected as one of the MVP's put him in the chug gross things category.

Editor's Note: 45 minutes after insisting this would be his last game, Hoffy assured me that if we really needed him he would skip golf and come back to play. See you in two weeks buddy.

Brian and PJ must be intimately connected in their kickball bones (haha), because for the second time this season they earned MVP's together.

Brian's base running (scoring two of our four runs), quick thinking (the play at home with the help of Sandy, that got us out of a potentially dreadful them scoring more than us position), sprinting (they refused to shotgun, so Brian just dominated their chump in a footrace despite not having cleats and being 5 years older than his competition), and general demeanor (he's confident and attractive, he intimidates me) shamed the rest of the team into adequate submission.

PJ was absolutely clutch with two base kicks, a two out RKI right when we needed it, and a perfectly timed slide to save us from an inning ending out that eventually got us a run.

A rainy day, celebrating Pucks birth, Dave making excuses, Heather living in a lake, and random other factors had us worried we wouldn't have enough players. Hoffy, Smitty and Laura were all worried they were going to be late. I was worried we wouldn't have enough players.

What if all the late people are really late? What if we get disqualified and they don't even let us hang out and be awesome? The panic was reaching its peak as saliva built up in the back of my mouth. The tears pooled slowly as the knots in my stomach urged me to the ground. From my knees I looked to the heavens, "WHY?!" I questioned the clouds. "All we want to do is play kickball and now we're not sure if we can. Why, you son of a bitch clouds, why?!"

"Tom, you're scaring me, I'm calling Brandon." Katie moved quickly. In a flash, Brandon was playing with us. As soon as Timmy stopped laughing in disgust two friends walked by with their dogs, Sara and Amanda agreed to put up with us for a few minutes and play.

Before you knew it, we had a full roster and the game hadn't even started yet... and then Hoffy showed up... and then Smitty showed up... and then Laura showed up... all well before the game started. We were fine and I cried like a small child for no reason. Silly me.

Other stuff... hmmm... Sandy almost had MVP and would have won the golden glove because of five or six different plays at short stop and his laser cat rocket arm to 1st, but he fumbled a single ball and we collectively decided to focus on that and forget all the good stuff he did.

The other team continued to be stupid bunts.

I didn't follow my own rule of hold the ball, don't throw it around (thanks whomever), but it all worked out as they did not score too much and we did not lose because of me, thus proving that I am above the laws of nature and gravity... maybe not gravity, but definitely nature and kickball.

Good times were had by all really.
Marshall Street has Poutine now, which is pretty great.
Next week is a proposed double header, which would mean two double headers in a row (the 14th is a pre scheduled double header) so start stretching now. We can't afford to lose any of you. For every Kick Jameser who "skims" my ramblings, an old woman loses her wings and a fairy has a heart attack. Thanks a lot skimmers.

I'm Kick James and Week 1 was definitely a fluke.