It's a Lemon Party!

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Welcome back Kick James! You can tell it's the beginning of the season because of that 1 in the win column. As we all know, winning is the only thing that matters. If you're not trying to win, you're not trying to Kick James. Now let me teach you a little lesson about politics...

Just kidding, none of that meant anything besides the welcome back and the lemon party.

After night 1... dun dundoooon!

I'm Kick James 11, Rib Meat 6

Not pictured: Literally no one, look at that team, it's freaking huge.

MVP's

It. Is. So. Cold.

Pearson spent a lot of time thinking about Kick James over the last year. Having been a part of the last Fall Kick James team and helping us lose our first ever playoff game (we lost like we do everything... together... but it was probably mostly his fault. I don't remember, the tears washed it away). Not only did he bring us Loic, Loic's tight shirt, Ben, and Ben's Kick James screen print hat, but he also reinvigorated Kick James in the 5th inning with a three run home run. He almost had a heart attack at the end of it, but it would have been totally worth it.

I, Thomas, was the second MVP. Yes, I had two singles. Yes I had two runs. Yes, I had that one awkward looking jumping catch at 3rd base. It isn't about me people. Unless I do something awesome and truly deserve it, I will not accept any more MVP's. Do I love attention? Yes. Do I deserve the attention I get? Most of the time, yes definitely always. Am I humble? Of course I am, why would you even ask that?

Highlights

(A prologue: In seasons past a point has been made to include something about every player on the team. Well fuck that. We have a gigantic team, so the highlight reel will be just that. Thank you.)

I'd like to start the highlights by recognizing our new Kick Jamesers:

Ben, Loic, Christina and Erin (Girl "Brian"). Excellent first showing everyone. Ben didn't get punched. Loic looked great in his medium. The shirt obviously gave him the power to fly through the outfield with the greatest of ease. Christina has talked about being a part time IKJ member since our conception/inception/interception/eleption, and has finally officially joined us (part time). Erin earned her stripes in her first outting by receiving her nickname that wouldn't have become her nickname if she hadn't said she didn't like it. So much to learn Girl Brian (Note: Having a Girl Brian makes everything so much easier, I could never tell which one "Brian" was).

The day was a hard felt battle. Gabe took our first shotgun challenge of the season, narrowly losing to the fastest shotgunner in the world making Gabe the second fastest and giving us a great chance at domination in the future.

Pictured: The other guy about to cheat... I assume.

Coops stepped up and sprinted a challenge for us with the help of "Brian". Boy "Brian" had a mixed day. He played very well, sprinted even better, looked great in his Cape James costume, but shied away from an icing at the beginning of the day because he's obviously a soulless coward. I mean, it's okay, he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions, but I don't know anyone else who would make up an excuse that doesn't even make sense and directly goes against a rule he himself had established less than a month before, but that doesn't mean he can't do what he wants to do even if we're all very disappointed in him.

If you see Boy "Brian" have him clear things up for you. Can't hurt to ask why he has so little respect for the institution of icing.

Tim threw the ball a hella long distance and way longer than the joker he was talking shit to throughout the game. He was being both bold and self loathing about his bunting habit and Tim was having none of it. Way to stick to your guns "Timmy". When you act like a punch ass horse fondler, be prepared to be treated like one, guy from the other team who can't throw farther than Tim and bunts.

Excellent post game showing at Marshall Street. I left a little early, but I heard there were both dance offs and R&B classic sing offs. If we could start doing that during the innings from the sidelines, I think we would be a better overall team.

I'm Kick James and 1-0 sounds good anyway you say it... except if you put the 0 first, because then it means the exact opposite of what it means now and sounds super shitty.

Pictured: Kickball Art. Thank you Laura, the pictures are fantastic.

(An Epilogue: As always, I know I'm missing plenty. Please share your stories, either in the comments or send them my way and I will add them to the blog. After Laura "Dingleberry" did such a great job wrapping up the Spring with her Ode to Kick James, I would like to see more and more IKJ's submitting to the blog. You have an idea? It's yours. You want to take a week over. It's yours. Believe me, I could use the help and we have such a brilliantly hilarious group of attractive people, input from around the bench can only make this better for everyone.)