Smitty, Good Back Up...

...and other stories... all that and more on this weeks edition of:

Pictured: 1/3 of Kick James... before we put our uniforms on.*

I'm Kick James and I Kick Balls. Volume 4, Episode 2
(Images courtesy of the internet: no Laura was present, so these images represent what it was probably like.)

 This weeks adventure:

I'm Kick James (2-0) 13, Where My Pitches At? (?-1/2/?) 2

(The fellas at Kickball League of Rochester are slacking and really chapping my ass... neither scores nor standings are updated. Maybe they don't realize some of us have a G. goddamn D. blog to write. That's it, I'm writing a letter... Maybe they don't realize some of us have a G. goddamn D. angry letter to write either).

MVP's

Pictured: How Loic's pet and pet's pet became best friends.

Loic brought a lot to the table this week. Not only did he kick his first IKJ homerun, but he also showed up (late) with his pet ferret and it's pet squirrel. He proceeded to play the field and run around like said ferret, failing to catch anything... but our attention. It was a spectacle int he best way possible. Even though the rest of the team was entranced by its new mascots, I think they, and Loic, brought a sense of depth and gravitas to the team. Thank you Loic, thank you for making us better people.

Pictured: Artists rendition of Dave last night. *

Dave "Brian"'s brother really brought his A-beard-game. Deftly fielding numerous laser rocket throws while playing third... I can only remember one, but I assume there were more. Two kicks, two runs, zero errors, infinite sex appeal. Congratulations on starting your new job. If it negatively effects your kickball season I'm sorry to say you have to quit.

Highlights/Lowlights/and it's hair color, not dye. Dye an egg, color your hair.

Well besides the fact that we have 13 runs in the first inning for our two games combined, which is awesome, the first inning was really marked by Shelley galloping over the ball to avoid having to kick a terrible pitch. It was called a swing and a miss strike, but we know better. We know she did it on purpose. Shelley's night was highlighted while playing catcher and putting Sandy in his place when he tried to cover home and steal her thunder... No one. I repeat, NO ONE, steals Shelley's thunder!

Speaking of Sandy, we won't talk about the good things he did, but remember when he dove for that ball and missed. Hilarious.

Pictured: Sandy missing the ball.

PJ has become our most dependable kicker. 4-4 this season and I'm pretty sure he was 8-8 last season.

I'd consider our friend Paul a runner up last night, as well as "Girl Brian" who the other team kept brutally attacking whenever they had a chance. She kept getting back up and kept playing well, which proves we can stop hiding our violent side and fully physically abuse each other. I also considered knocking her on her ass before I stole the ball from her and got that girl trotting to first out, but I refrained... you. are. welcome.

Katie returned to form by kicking a double and being awesome... but then slipped down a notch by not participating in the team shotgun.

Pictured: Jim, 80 seconds before kicking

Jim crawled from the wreckage of his car, his clothing and psyche each in tatters. Left the crash site on foot, raced, three miles without shoes on to make it to the game seconds before it was his turn to kick. He proceeded to get out.

Smitty backed people up well.

And that's it everyone.

Couldn't be happier about how this is looking, where this is going, how it feels on this inside (swell?).

What did I miss? Tell me. Tell me now!

*

Pictured: 1/3 of Kick James... after we put our uniforms on.

Pictured: What Dave actually looked like... but with more facial hair.

Pictured: The dogs that ate Loic's Ferret and Squirrel.
(Thanks for the photo's Katie, the rest will be utilized in blackmail scenarios.)