An Ode to Kick James
By Dingleberry
As the clouds rolled in and the raindrops appeared,
We tightened our laces, while the kick off neared.
Gathering together we formed as one,
All of us knowing what needs to be done.
The red hats fit tight,
As we prepared for what would be a fight.
Settling our nerves, we took to the field,
Not knowing at that point our fates were already sealed.
They strolled up with confidence ready to kick,
So we all took our places and got focused quick.
The ref, named Al, cleared the game to begin,
And I looked down the field and gave Shelly a slight grin.
The ball was set loose, and all was afire.
With all of a sudden, ‘TWO OUTS’ cried the umpire.
Emotions were high, but communication trembled.
Two runs were scored, and to the sidelines we reassembled.
Brian up first, and the ball sored through the sky.
He slides through to second all hell to defy.
Sandy took to the plate and ran to first base,
As Katy strolled up with a smile on her face.
The pitcher had trouble crossing the plate with her pitch,
So Al gave her advice as to overcome this glitch.
Eventually she sorted it out, and kick james ran across home
plate.
Unfortunately discrepancy caused the other team to challenge
our fate.
The safe on second with two outs was on trial,
And I was called to once again defend my team with style.
Rock, Paper, Scissors was the name of the game.
One, Two, Three- Win.
One, Two, Three- Lose.
I looked into my opponents eyes and the moment came…
One, Two, Three- Lose.
Back in the field Kick James went,
But in no way were we ready to relent.
Shelly on the mound, the bases covered,
The outfield was buzzing while the clouds still hovered.
The strikes came one after the other,
The three outs caused the team to cry, ‘oh, mother’.
To kick again Kick James’ confidence rekindled,
While the red/blue swirled shirts swindled and dwindled.
The Loughners were up, and they both rose to new heights.
Raising our hopes, with the game that excites.
All of a sudden I was on deck,
Ready as ever I kicked and I ran, only the scream, ‘oh, heck’’.
At this point for me the game became fuzzy for an inning or
two,
So henceforth my ode may become a bit askew.
It is now, I feel I shall mention for a bit,
The other team’s demeanor that seemed so misfit.
We came out to have fun, and laugh as a team
So why, shall I ask, the other team be so mean?
They called into questions Al’s calls and made fun of our
plays
So I feel it is appropriate to individually haze:
Holly:
Golly, miss Holly, you seem to be on Molly- because you must
be seeing things.
I ask, Polly must want a cracker, with the noise coming from
your mouth.
I would suggest, miss Holly you take a trolly to Bali
because only there, will they deal with your folly.
Nick:
Nick, my prick, I would ask you to stick the ball where the
sun don’t shine.
You are a captain of bunters: ‘Quick’, ‘Slick’, ‘Trick’ and ‘Thick’.
Although your team inevitably won, Nick- I think you are a
dick.
‘Big Red’:
I didn’t catch your name, ‘Red’, but I think you may need to
grow a pair,
And learn how to kick, and be nice. The end.
And like that we were in the top of the fourth,
The clouds started to break and there was sun up north.
This time it was our call that a safe should have been out.
So, Tim made the challenge because of his doubt.
A shotgun it was, so they took to the stage,
The beers in two hands and the other team in a rage.
Our team on one knee, while they took the loss,
As they blamed the faulty can, but Tim drank like a boss.
Up by two the innings got deeper.
Other teams walked over to see who would be the weeper.
The other team now tied, seven to seven.
(Something just made me think of Evans from Heaven).
And just like that, they were up and it was over.
Not one man on the field leaf was the least bit sober.
We did not however hang our heads with shame,
Together we yelled, ‘WE ARE KICK JAMES’!
I know you were hoping this ode would come to an end,
But special mentions are needed, and individuals to commend:
Jim, I think we all would agree,
There was a certain disappointment that we couldn’t see
above either knee.
You may have been wearing long shorts, which is of course
fine.
Next time however I expect nothing less than your short
trench hemline.
Ashley you get major point for keeping your fiancé in check,
I think at one point he wanted to wrap his hands around Tim’s
neck.
Throughout the season your kicks have gotten much better,
As the game continued I felt you were just warming up for
the next of the double header.
Katie, as always you bring style and smiles to the game,
But don’t let that fool anyone- she’s here to take f’ing
names.
Your multiple outs and getting on base,
Makes it hard for anyone to keep up at your pace.
Dave and Brian, I mention you together, valuable to every
inning
Because, you two in the line-up made up our end and our
beginning.
Scoring, out, and sliding to bases
As far as kickball is concerned you are both going places!
It will be difficult to not often think of the visual
Of Brian catching, then sliding, then tagging for an out we
should make a ritual.
Jesse, I feel your focus could change at any moment
Out in the field ready for action at every instant.
Next time, please do not pause and consider.
Take that girl out, when she is in the base line- just hit
her.
Hoffy and Smitty, both on the verge of MVP status
(I personally thank Hoffy for the ice bag apparatus).
Base runs, and outs, and chats on the sideline
Both of you make Kick James shine.
MVPs: How there was four I will never know,
But all four of these player put on quite the show:
Shelly with pitches straight down the line,
How is it possible she got strikes almost every time!
Kicking and making it onto base
And you have such a lovely face.
Tim, oh’ captain, sub-captain! Our fearful trip is done,
With your guidance and energy we should have most defiantly
won.
You won the shotgun but most of all,
You reminded us what it means to have fun playing kickball.
PJ, above and beyond all the other players
You on the field was an answer to many of our prayers.
Advancing, scoring, getting on base-
We all agree last night you were an Ace.
Sandy, you were our balance, exciting us to compete
Becoming fired up to help us win this feat.
Base hits and runs, but on top of all the good,
You also beat the MVP Mike’s shotgun- way to go, dude.
Lastly, I will leave you with this: ‘I should have been a
mutha, f’ing bunter’.
